Tag Archives: men

Sex in a Relationship

1 Feb

Sex in a relationship is, in our humble opinion, the best kind of sex for many reasons. Sex with a person you trust and care about is so much more intense than a random hook up. Sex with a person who knows what you like and just what to do to push you over the edge…ooh, we’re getting all warm just thinking about it. Trust us, guys who don’t want a relationship cause they’d miss the random sex are dumb. There are plenty of reasons not to want a relationship but that is not one. So yeah, relationship sex is awesome now maybe we should give some actual advice…

TALK! We cannot stress enough that communication is key. We here at the Man’s Guide are big fans of being frank (can you tell?) when it comes to talking about sex. Don’t be shy and for goodness sake don’t lie. This applies just as much, if not more, to women, so don’t think we’re putting it all on you guys to start the conversation. Talk about what you like, what you don’t, what you’ve always wanted to try, what you’d never want to try in a million years. It doesn’t have to turn into a performance review every time you have sex but saying something like “I liked it when you did that thing with your tongue” increases the chances that she’ll do it again. If she’s doing something you don’t like but you don’t want to kill the mood, just move her hand or pull her head up for a kiss or whatever. And if you tell her afterwards that you weren’t really feeling it, she’s not going to get mad, she’ll just be glad you told her.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. If it’s a big new thing, it’s a good idea to talk about it first and find out if it’s something she’d be interested in trying. But if it’s something small, it can be exciting to surprise her with something new out of nowhere. Encourage her to tell you her fantasises, and tell her yours. You never know, she might just buy herself Leia’s slave costume as a special Valentine’s Day treat for you.

Sex is an important part of a relationship and it should be enjoyable for both parties. That said, if she wants to try something that literally makes your insides shrivel up with fear and/or disgust, you don’t have to do it just to make her happy. Compromise, find a middle ground. Offer to try out something else that you feel more comfortable with. Explain what it is that makes you uncomfortable and why because she’s not a mind reader but she should know.

Keep things interesting. There are many types of sex and one of the great things about relationship sex is that you can have them all on a regular basis. Today you both might just really want wild, animal sex. Tomorrow you might be more in the mood for something steamy and intimate. Or the myriad of adjectives in between.

Also, sometimes she might not be in the mood. Or you might not be. It happens. It doesn’t mean she’s no longer attracted to you or anything, she’s probably just tired. Just because you’re in a relationship, don’t assume that you’re going to have sex every single night. It is always okay to say no, always. We would take this opportunity to give props to the boyfriend of the girl who posted on YaleFML to say that he asks for consent every time. Good man.

Sex should be fun and it doesn’t always have to be serious (actually, fyi, if she giggles when you’re inside her, we are reliably informed that it feels awesome) but a frank conversation once in a while can work wonders.


The Yale Man’s Guide to Texting

30 Jan

Ahh, texting. The past 10 years have brought us this glorious additional layer of technological relationship complication, and even if you are one of those fogies who swear it’s not important, believe us, it’s important. Texting is an intricate practice, and no one should go into this jungle of uncertainty and smileys without the proper machete. So here it is, the official Yale Man’s Guide to Texting:

Lol – We’ll start with the basics – the lol. Now, in general, the lol is a good thing. If it’s at the front of the text, it signals that your previous text made her laugh. Score! However, lols are not only used for laughter. They can also be used to diffuse tension or say that you shouldn’t take seriously what she just said (even though you should).

Good lol: lol! Yeahhh hamsters would look cray cray with bowties!

Bad lol: YEahh I totally didnt even want to go to that thing lol

Read: Oh yes I did, you lazy biz-nitch

And with lols, as with nearly every texted word, more letters = more betters.

Lolllllll || lololololol > lol

Ha – This texting convention can be a little confusing, because even though it may seem like it implies a laugh, it really signifies more of a sigh, or an attempt to make you think you’re funny. As with the lol, placement matters; at the front says she’s sighing at you, and at the back is a self-sigh.

Front ha – Ha you should really pursue this bowtie-hamster thing

Back ha –  And then we kind of passed out ha

Haha – Haha essentially serves the same purpose as the lol (though with a bit more maturity, in our humble opinions). It most commonly means that what you said was funny, or she wants to signal that what she’s saying is funny. Generally a good thing.

Hahaha – Generally a great thing! If haha is the courtesy laugh, hahaha means you ACTUALLY made her laugh. Congrats! And, as with the lol, more ha’s are even better. YOU WANT MANY OF THESE.

… – ellipses are tricky, because based on their placement, they can mean completely different things. In the middle of a sentence, ellipses can simply be a segue into a different thought. At the end, they can mean uncertainty or judgment. If she sends a text which consists solely of ellipses, you messed up biiig and she is pissed at what you just said.

Middle ellipses: Im not going to the show… why do Sikhs carry a knife if they believe in nonviolence?

Back ellipses: umm the KIRPAN is used as a defensive weapon…

. – Periods full on suck because there’s no standardization in their texting usage. Some people think they should be used at the end of every sentence, but we here at Men’s Guide think that periods at the end of a text look unnecessarily harsh. Hopefully you know a girl well enough to know her patterns, but in general, an end text period means pissiness to follow. Just look at the difference between these two examples:

I’m feeling chill right now: Ok

I’m feeling like a pissy she-monster: Ok.

SO HARSH. Avoid this punctuation at all costs.

:  ) – And now to the emoticons. This particular one is fraught with ambiguity, because it can easily signal friendship or flirtatiousness. If a girl’s already your friend, it’s best to err on the side of caution and take it as friendly. But at least you make her smile! Oh, and as a side note on your own texting etiquette, it is acceptable for guys to use the smiley, but you probably shouldn’t overdo it, because it is a fairly girly emoticon, and you might come across as a little gay. And as an (ostensibly straight) Yale man, you probably don’t want another reason for girls to think you like the dudes.

: ( – The opposite of smiley: the frownie! No real subtext to this one; it means she’s sad. GIVE HER CANDY. SHE PROBABLY LOVES CANDY.

And finally:


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