Single on Valentine’s Day?

12 Feb

So Valentine’s Day is coming up and it can be a rough holiday for some of us. We here at the Yale Men’s Guide know there some of the single men of Yale (some, not all – we know that not everyone out there is a fan of hand-holding) will suffer throughout the day. Here are 10 things that you do to ameliorate your single night:

  1. Rent Love Actually and buy yourself a box of chocolates. Lament the fact that you will never have a love as great as the one that Colin Firth has for his maid. Or Hugh Grant for his secretary. There is one copy left in Bass and one at the Film Studies Center.
  2. Alternatively, take out your anger at being single on that idiot who lost the second copy of Love Actually supposed to be housed in Bass in the beginning of February. The BYWFYM Ladies know you’re out there and we’re not pleased – give the Yale community back our favorite rom-com. NOW.
  3. Lock yourself in your bedroom with a box of tissues and a Victoria Secret catalogue. Need we say more?
  4. Go to Toad’s? Oh wait, it’s not Wednesday…Ok, never mind, do that on the 15th.
  5. Go to Bass and ogle all the other single people in there. Take comfort in your shared single-dom. Time to make a new friend (and a very special kind of friend?)
  6. Find a single friend (female or male) and cuddle. The one day that cuddling rules are vaguely suspended. Unless that female friend you’re cuddling with is the one you’d also like to have as a Valentine, in which case, go to number 10.
  7. Wear all black and refuse to smile in protest of the commercialization of emotion. Why do we need a holiday to show someone we love them, anyway? You’ve become a conscientious objector (and a hipster). Congratulations!
  8. Light a bonfire in the middle of Cross Campus. When asked what you’re doing, reply that you are reverting to the pagan traditions of the holiday.
  9. Stand on the top of SSS (or a similarly tall building) and throw confetti on to the heads of couples down below while yelling bitter, snarky comments (Just don’t go too near the edge, please).
  10. For heaven’s sake, grow a pair and ask her out already! If you’ve really wanted to, there’s no better time.
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