Can we still be friends?

11 Feb

It can be tough to go back to being friends with someone, especially if you’ve known him/her intimately for a long period of time. So how exactly do you manage to get back to a place of friendship with some one? Here are some basic things to keep in mind:
1. Are you really sure that you want to be just friends? Is there lingering sexual tension? Because if so, you might want to rethink the whole break-up thing. And if you really think that you should just be friends, for whatever reason, you’re going to have to shut down any sort of tension because if you do start hooking up again, the second break up is going to be worse/more awkward than the first (trust us, we know).
2. It’s a good idea to let the person who was broken up with make the first attempt at friendship. Give it a couple of weeks before offering the proverbial olive branch. If she contacts you, that’s great, but don’t make the mistake of assuming that if she gets coffee with you, she wants to hook up again. She’s not crawling back, she just wants to be friends (we hope).
3. Avoid talking about your newest hook up/girlfriend. Awkward, for obvious reasons. That being said, if you do have someone new in your life, you might want to mention it, depending on good of friends you are – just don’t wax lyrical about how your new girl is making you the happiest you’ve ever been or something stupid like that.
4. Avoid cryptic references to the past. You both know that you were in a relationship/hooking up at one point in your life, so you might as well be up front about it. The more honest you are with each other, the less that awkwardness will linger. There’s nothing like “So, um, yeah, when, we were, um, together?…and you, um, were in my…room?”to bring conversation to a screeching halt.

If you had a friendship beforehand, it might take a long time to get it back to what it was, and it quite possibly will never be the same. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to try, and friendship certainly is better than pulling out your phone each time you’re about to pass each other and pretending to madly text everyone in your contacts.


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