The Art of Conversation

3 Feb

As a fantastic conversationalist and all-around good generator of words, many people have asked us, hey, Yale Man’s Guide, how do you do it? How is it that you can seem to talk to anybody, about any given topic, and trick them into thinking you’re interesting? Well, there’s a simple answer, folks: there’s a system! You can’t just go into life unprepared – you need to have a game plan. Much like the machete that you must you for texting, a new bit of rainforest equipment is necessary for entering the danger field of CONVERSATION. We speak, of course, of the Indiana Jones fedora (don’t front like it’s not useful; tell us of one mosquito bite Indy got on his noggin). This particular fedora is our special list of conversation-starters, topics to talk about that no Yale man can be without (Disclaimer: you can totally be without this). Edited to make them a bit more appealing to the ladies, and here we go:

  1. Have you been to the steam tunnels? (This works best if you’ve actually been to the steam tunnels. Alternate delivery, which must be done in the deep Batman voice: I’ve BEEN to the tunnels)
  2. What do you think they do in Skull and Bones? Like, kinky stuff?
  3. Have you ever been to a (A Different Drum show/Shades concert/ Shabbat dinner)? They sure can (dance! / sing! / eat challah)
  4. Want to grab lunch? Let’s go to Berkeley; it probably won’t be crowded.
  5. What do you think of Ronnell? Like really THINK about him? Do you think he’s a family man? I bet his wife really loves him… he’s cool.
  6. Marry, boff, kill: President Levin, Provost Salovey , Dean Gentry.
  7. Have you seen that sports game? Ha! Neither have I.
  8. Have you seen this fine blog called “By Yale Women for Yale Men”? Very useful. And witty!

And then there’s the one thing we suggest you DO NOT talk about, based off our very scientific poll of ourselves. MUTUAL FRIENDS. You’re never going to learn about the person you’re talking to if you are talking about other people. And this conversation can get really awkward, especially if one of you doesn’t like said mutual friend/ acquaintance. It usually goes,

1st person, who likes mutual friend: “Oh, do you know Lamp McThermos???”

2nd person, who thinks mutual friend is a bitchy cheese-for-brains mouthbreather: “Yeah… she’s… interesting…”

And then our good friend Awkward Silence pays a visit.

Seriously guys, you can do better…. with this fedora.

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