Sex in a Relationship

1 Feb

Sex in a relationship is, in our humble opinion, the best kind of sex for many reasons. Sex with a person you trust and care about is so much more intense than a random hook up. Sex with a person who knows what you like and just what to do to push you over the edge…ooh, we’re getting all warm just thinking about it. Trust us, guys who don’t want a relationship cause they’d miss the random sex are dumb. There are plenty of reasons not to want a relationship but that is not one. So yeah, relationship sex is awesome now maybe we should give some actual advice…

TALK! We cannot stress enough that communication is key. We here at the Man’s Guide are big fans of being frank (can you tell?) when it comes to talking about sex. Don’t be shy and for goodness sake don’t lie. This applies just as much, if not more, to women, so don’t think we’re putting it all on you guys to start the conversation. Talk about what you like, what you don’t, what you’ve always wanted to try, what you’d never want to try in a million years. It doesn’t have to turn into a performance review every time you have sex but saying something like “I liked it when you did that thing with your tongue” increases the chances that she’ll do it again. If she’s doing something you don’t like but you don’t want to kill the mood, just move her hand or pull her head up for a kiss or whatever. And if you tell her afterwards that you weren’t really feeling it, she’s not going to get mad, she’ll just be glad you told her.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. If it’s a big new thing, it’s a good idea to talk about it first and find out if it’s something she’d be interested in trying. But if it’s something small, it can be exciting to surprise her with something new out of nowhere. Encourage her to tell you her fantasises, and tell her yours. You never know, she might just buy herself Leia’s slave costume as a special Valentine’s Day treat for you.

Sex is an important part of a relationship and it should be enjoyable for both parties. That said, if she wants to try something that literally makes your insides shrivel up with fear and/or disgust, you don’t have to do it just to make her happy. Compromise, find a middle ground. Offer to try out something else that you feel more comfortable with. Explain what it is that makes you uncomfortable and why because she’s not a mind reader but she should know.

Keep things interesting. There are many types of sex and one of the great things about relationship sex is that you can have them all on a regular basis. Today you both might just really want wild, animal sex. Tomorrow you might be more in the mood for something steamy and intimate. Or the myriad of adjectives in between.

Also, sometimes she might not be in the mood. Or you might not be. It happens. It doesn’t mean she’s no longer attracted to you or anything, she’s probably just tired. Just because you’re in a relationship, don’t assume that you’re going to have sex every single night. It is always okay to say no, always. We would take this opportunity to give props to the boyfriend of the girl who posted on YaleFML to say that he asks for consent every time. Good man.

Sex should be fun and it doesn’t always have to be serious (actually, fyi, if she giggles when you’re inside her, we are reliably informed that it feels awesome) but a frank conversation once in a while can work wonders.

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