Why it’s not okay to hook up with her best friend:

27 Jan

Sometimes it happens that you hook up with a girl and it’s just not going to go anywhere. As long as she’s not terribly hurt, that’s fine. However, this means that her friends, especially her best friend, are off limits. Always. Forever. It’s not ok even if the best friend is throwing herself at you. Yes, best friends should know better, but sometimes they’re stupid too. We’ve been asked many times at the Yale Man’s Guide why exactly women have such a problem with their hook ups getting with their best friends and we’d like to offer the following illumination of the female psyche (or at least some female psyches. There are women who simply don’t care about this situation, but many do).

To the average woman’s mind, the friend is the confidant, the one who knows all of her hook ups and all of her secrets. By hooking up with the friend, you instantly create a tension in the friendship. The first woman begins to wonder if her friend actually cares about the friendship and how much her friend can be trusted. Even though you may not necessarily be the one at fault (you may not even have known that they were friends!) you’re still going to be blamed. Yes, we know, it’s not fair, but neither is life. Hooking up with the best friend is an act of betrayal, pure and simple. You’ve created a situation in which two people who know each other intimately now know you intimately and they will gossip about you forever. Trust us, two friends will NEVER forget that they’ve hooked up with the same guy.

While hooking up with the best friend may seem like a good idea at the time – especially if it’s late at night and you’re intoxicated – there’s the potential for you ruin their friendship forever. If you’re simply looking to hook up, this is a terrible, selfish thing to do and we simply do not advise it. However, if you hooked up with one friend and are deeply in love with the other, you’re in a tricky situation. In that case, it’s a good idea for the best friend to handle negotiations and let her make the decision. It must be her choice on how to handle her relationship with her friend and her relationship with you.

There’s also the EWW factor. Crudely put, two friends hooking up with the same guy is comparable to them sharing a toothbrush (yes, we just compared a man to a toothbrush). Although there may not necessarily be anything wrong, there’s such a thing as sharing TOO much. It’s just icky, plain and simple.

Just another thing to keep in mind: if you now understand why hooking up with two friends is a bad idea, don’t even consider hooking up with two sisters. That’s just never going to be ok, ever. You thought the saying was Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Just try a Yale woman, her sister, and her best friend. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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3 Responses to “Why it’s not okay to hook up with her best friend:”

  1. rosida August 6, 2013 at 1:55 AM #

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  2. Scarlett Johanson November 1, 2013 at 3:15 AM #

    this is a verry biased article. it’s written to the guy, for the benifit of the first girl and her relation ship with the second girl. So… what if i couldn’t care less about the first girl? This really is just an article on female relationships not for the male perspective in any way. go home and try again.

  3. Egor Chubarov November 9, 2014 at 6:30 PM #

    Ok so that’s exactly what happened to me… I really liked this girl and have been friends with her best friend for over a year now. The best friend texts the girl who promptly replies she doesn’t want to hook up with me. I end up hanging out with the best friend alone that night. We smoked a little, played with the cat, and nature took its course. We only ended up hooking up, with some heavy petting involved. I dropped her off early that morning so her mom wouldn’t know she went out. 6 hours later the girl I really like texts me, I pick her up, we get smoothies and go back to my house. Play with the cat(I swear this is the best wingman I’ve ever had), we lay in bed and stare into each others eyes and nothing happens for about 2 hours. The best friend calls her and asks if we hooked up, the girl I like knew I got with her friend the night before and does not seem bothered by it. We lay in bed another 2 minutes and just start kissing. We hooked up for 10 minutes or so and then I drop her off at the best friends and go home. This Halloween so we were all going to a party that night. At the party the best friend kissed me on the lips, the girl I like did not seem to enjoy that. We left early and the three of us and two other friends go to IHOP. I sit with the girl I like she puts her sexy legs up on my junk and we begin stroking each other at IHOP( I know a little trashy, but hey we’re high school kids in Miami, and I could give two shits about anyone at IHOP). We all part ways, I go home with my friend and the three girls leave as well. The girl I like texts me and wants me to pick her up and cuddle at 6am before her dad gets her at 10. I pick her up from one of her friends house, and we came back to mine. We cuddle and hook up for a few hours, I finger her and she jacked me off. I then dropped her off at the best friends house because her dad was on his way to get her. It’s now monday, and both girls are dry towards me. I talked to the girl I like and she says their’s too much going on and that she wasn’t really looking to hook up, she said she had a crush on me, but didn’t think I wanted to get with her. The next day I get bombarded with texts from both girls on how I’m an asshole and everything else in between. I told the girl I like that getting with her best friend was a mistake( should not have said this) She turns hostile at this point and never wants to speak with me again or whatever. I’m honestly infatuated with this girl, she’s short, with blonde hair, and the biggest ass I’ve ever seen!! She has freckles on her cute little nose and pink soft lips(with a water park down below). I swear I’m in love. But it’s almost been a week now and I don’t know what to do with my self. The girl I liked said nothing was ever going to happen between us, which I questioned, cause we hooked up twice after her friend got with me. And I really enjoy her company besides the hook ups, I admitted my feelings toward her, and to no avail did not receive a reply. This girl is known for being extremely open with her sexuality and knows what she wants. She told me I was hot and she had a crush on me, I wanted to make something out of it, but sadly this was not the case. I’m honestly depressed over the whole situation and have decided to wait about a month before talking to her again. Hopefully by then the situation will die down, and she will let whatever feelings she had for me resurface, without forsaking her friendship. IF ANYONE HAS A SUGGESTION AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO IT WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL!!!!! I get those butterfly feelings every time I see or think of her, which I fucking hate when it’s unrequited. SO IF ANYONE HAS A SOLUTION IT WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL!! PLOT TWIST: My best friend fucked her back in september while I was seeing another girl, he got tired of her and they don’t talk much, but I really like her and I hate not being able to do anything about it. I feel like waiting is the best solution and I’ll just do that, if not oh well it’s only High School! Please email me at egorychubarov@gmail.com or if you really want to help text or call me at 804 504 2605!! I’d really appreciate it!

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