Yale Man’s Guide to Hook Ups

24 Jan

The very first rule of a hook up: don’t assume it’s going to end in sex. It might. But it might not. Just because a girl leaves Toads with you to go back to your suite, doesn’t mean she wants sex. Realistically, she’s not really super excited to see the paper you got published in the Yale Historical Review and things are probably going to get physical, but that does not mean she wants sex. She might want to make out, she might want to make out a lot, but don’t assume that means she wants to go further. But, you cry, how am I supposed to know? You don’t. Quite possibly, she hasn’t even decided yet. The best approach is every time you make a move to go further, ask “Is this okay?” If she says yes, you’re golden. If she says no, go back to whatever you were doing before. If you’re as good as you hope you are, you might just get her hot and bothered enough to make that very move on her own. This applies to you too. If you’re with a girl and you don’t want to go further, you don’t have to. Please don’t feel as though you’re violating some Guy Code or something stupid like that. Do not have sex just because you think you should.

As far as specifics are concerned: this is a hook up. That means she has absolutely no obligation to put her mouth anywhere near your penis. Nor should you feel obligated to go down on her. If you’re cool with it, more (tongue) power to you but giving oral sex to a person you’re probably seeing naked for the first time is not, nor should it be, expected. This also means that if she tells you she doesn’t want to have sex, it is not under any circumstances okay to say “It’s okay, you can just blow me instead.” For many women, giving a guy head is a way bigger deal than actual intercourse.

If you do end up having sex, yay! If it’s your first hook-up (or first time), relax. Don’t constantly ask if she likes what you’re doing; trust her to tell you if she doesn’t. Ladies: for God’s sake, speak up. If you don’t like something, tell him. If you like something, tell him! Don’t be too ambitious. Chances are, you haven’t known her long enough to find out if she’ll be able to get her legs into the position you saw in that porno that time (and unless your hook up is on the gym team or Yale Ballet, she probably can’t).

Afterwards, take your cue from her. Try not to kick her out at 4am, especially if it’s winter. It’s just good manners to let her stay the night. If she starts getting dressed in silence and doesn’t make eye contact, she probably wants to leave like, five minutes ago, so you should probably let her. But if she’s chatting while she starts scrabbling around for her panties and asking if you can see her bra, she’d probably like you to tell her she doesn’t have to leave.

Lastly, have fun. Hook ups are not supposed to be stressful. In fact, they’re supposed to be the opposite of stressful.

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4 Responses to “Yale Man’s Guide to Hook Ups”

  1. yale man January 26, 2012 at 3:43 PM #

    I completely support what you girls are doing – thank you!

    Quick observation: men and women are EQUAL. Guys should not exclusively be (labeled as) the ones responsible for a hook up progressing as it does. Girls, do not just approach a hook up as saying “yes” or “no” to whatever the guy is doing. Take action: if there’s something you feel like doing, please do it (if you’re uncertain, ask if it’s okay, but body language will usually tell you)! Similarly, if there’s something you want him to do to you, tell him!

    • By Yale Women for Yale Men January 28, 2012 at 10:05 AM #

      Yale Man, we couldn’t agree more. We strongly encourage a woman to speak up about what she wants and doesn’t want. Plus, it can be hot when she takes charge.

  2. Agnes January 11, 2015 at 3:23 PM #

    Hi folks, if you want to lose weight you should search in google – Laerdhat’s weightloss
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  3. Highland Smith October 31, 2015 at 6:29 PM #

    Y’all need Jesus.

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