The Ground Rules: Interacting with women on a day-to-day basis (Part 2)

22 Jan

Here are a couple of other things to keep in mind as you walk from WLH to LC to SSS to SCL and back again:

2. Don’t be awkward! – This means that you should not feel uncomfortable when talking to a woman. In daily conversation, try not to appear stilted or visibly uneasy in the presence of a woman. Even if you’re scared of women (re: the all-boys school in Montana), just remember that they really aren’t that different from men and you’ll probably have some interest in common. Do not stare at her breasts when talking to her, not even if she is a DD with curves wearing a plunging neckline. Look her in the eye and LISTEN to what she is saying, otherwise she will know that you are resisting the temptation to stare at her boobs. She always knows (just so you know). Furthermore, when you first see a girl, try not to give her the once over overtly. Girls often first interact with a man by looking at his face, which means they will be perfectly able to follow his eyes as the rake over their entire bodies. No one likes to be treated like a piece of merchandise for sale. If you do want to check her out, try to do so when she is not looking directly at you. Be surreptitious.

Greeting a woman can be a tricky issue, depending on the woman in question. Some women will always go in for the hug when they see a friend, while others prefer to maintain a strict distance. Take your cues from the woman and NEVER force a hug in greeting on her (because that will just be uncomfortable for both parties). If a hug just doesn’t seem to be happening, go for a wave and a genuine smile.

When passing a woman on the street who you know – regardless of whether you are trying to get with her or not – it is always polite to say hello. This does not mean that you have to stop walking at a break-neck speed so you don’t miss the shuttle up Science Hill, but it does mean that you show that you’re a polite Yale man, and every girl loves a polite Yale man. The hello in question can consist of a wave, a smile, a verbal greeting or a combination. It is best to avoid the question “How are you?” unless you actually want to stop for a minute to chat because it just gets weird if you ask the question but keep on walking down your path. It also shows that you really don’t give a damn about the answer. Conversely, the head nod can come off as brusque and unfeeling, unless you are very talented at giving an enthusiastic head nod. Overdoing the hello can make you look overenthusiastic and creepy, so if she’s just someone you’ve met in section, it’s best to stick with the smile and wave.


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